Conversation Overheard at the Barber Shop, 5/16/13
“Short shorts. Been a long time since I saw those.”
“Bullshit. We had some 70-, 75-degree days. A lot of girls, the first thing they do is disrobe […] How are the girls in Texas?”
“Eh. The girls are good-looking, but the food sucks.”
“A lot of barbecues?”
“Yeah, but the restaurants, the pizzerias…”
“You can’t have good pizzerias outside of New York. It’s the water.”
***
“I made meatballs and sauce over at Carmela’s the other day. I went back there, asked the kid, ‘Where are those meatballs?’ He says, ‘They’re gone. I ate 13 of them.’ It pissed me off. Took me four hours to make them, and he’s popping them in his mouth like gumdrops.”
***
“I’ll tell you one thing, though. I’ve got to get on the computer. There’s a lot of information on that computer.”
“You could get an ipad. You could google anything you want right here. And you could do Facebook.”
“I can’t believe people put all their shit on that. Are they fucking nuts? And the phones. It ticks me off. I see the kids taking pictures outside the shop. I don’t know what they’re taking pictures of. And the women in the morning bump into you and act like it’s your fault. What could they be talking about continuously all day?”
“No one writes anymore. I bet if you told these kids with the phones to write a letter, they couldn’t even spell.”
“It would be good for me, then!”
“That’s the difference between us and other countries: Europe, Asia, Japan. Their schools are much more educated.”
***
“I was in Boston with my daughter. We drove up to one of the cemeteries, saw a tombstone from the French and Indian Wars. It was an amazing thing to see.”
“We got good tombstones here, too, though.”
“Not like this.”
